It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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