Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize