sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
