You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize