So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
