Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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