She is in my trunk
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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