If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
