Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
