Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
