walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
