she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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