It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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