oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
