I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
