She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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