why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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