Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i think i have herpe
just one?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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