Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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