Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
