Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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