dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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