before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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