i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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