We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
His hands were made for my vagina.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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