soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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