I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
