My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So much rum. So many feels.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
