He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize