I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
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