Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
