Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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