we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
