i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
