Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
