I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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