remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my shit smells like andre
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
