Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize