Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
