There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
