if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He felt like a one man threesome
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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