I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
