I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
