p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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