hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
