His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
