420 ftw
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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