I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
