She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
