It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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