absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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