I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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