so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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