his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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