She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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