Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
