Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
