I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
