she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
