Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
