At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
