I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
