You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
