How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
